What I Remember

I was just eating a handful of Chex Mix and I found myself digging through the jar, picking out only the chex pieces (the best part) and leaving behind the burnt, hard, nasty crisp things. And do you know what it reminded me of? Gardettos. I used to love Gardettos, all except that same burnt, nasty things. And Gardettos reminded me of the hospital... now, hear me out.

I would go to the hospital with my friends when I was younger. Wait, back up the train... let me explain that (1.) in the 6th grade I had a paper route that I did with my mom and sisters so I had a little cash to myself that was burning a hole in my pocket. And (2.) growing up, my house was a couple blocks from the hospital; walk through a field, down the street a bit and you're there.

So, continuing on, since I had this money from my paper route and no car to get around (I was in 6th grade remind you) I quickly figured out that the Hospital had a cafeteria. And the best part? I didn't have to be a patient or visiting anyone to buy food at the caffeteria! I could actually go somewhere to "eat out" by myself? This was too awesome. And so an era of my life was born... the era of eating out at the hospital.

I would take my friends (or go alone too) and would treat them to something "yummy" at the hospital. I usually hit up the vending machines and I remember buying Gardettos, Grandmas Cookies and ice cream sandwiches. Sometimes I would even get a create-you-own salad. We'd even stay and sit at a table in the caffeteria to eat for the full experience. On the way out I would even peruse the gift shop and would often pick up a couple pink or blue cigar-shaped bubble gum sticks that had a picture of a stork on them. You know, the ones that are meant for new parents? I remember liking those a lot.

I had a friend, Heather Tweety, who I remember playing pranks with. I remember going one time to eat at the hospital and we went up to the second floor and went into a large handicap bathroom. We pulled the "help" chain and then ran out and got in the elevator to leave before the nurse could get there and see us. *crickets chirping* That's it. That's the whole prank. But we were rolling with laughter though because we thought we were hilarious.

I also remember playing with Heather in my backyard one day. My family was getting ready to go to the Lilac Parade (the big parade every spring in Spokane) and my mom said Heather could come with us.

We had been eating candy in the back yard and had wrappers leftover so we got the idea to fill the wrappers back up with dog poop from my back yard and loosely tape them shut. Then through out the parade we threw the poop bombs out into the parade route and died with laughter as we watched them get kicked around, stepped on and squished out. Man, we thought we were so funny. I always did feel slightly guilty for that one.

Anyway, that concludes my random memories for now.

So what's with the random memories?

I recently lost two years worth of photos because of a hard drive crash. Grr. We even tried to have the hard drive rebuilt (like major surgery for hard drives, in a white room and all) without any success. They couldn't even recover one little photo. Nothing. Nada. All wiped out.

And it has been a little traumatic for me. It has pushed me into a state of realization of how precious memories are, especially little ones that you might think are meaningless at the time. There are so many little things that were lost in those photos... little things that mean a lot. Like little video clips of Logan learning to talk, the first time he made animal noises or when he was learning to talk in sentences. Little videos of him playing and putting hats on and dancing are gone. Pictures of the first time he got to ride a city bus when he was obsessed with them. And pictures of things that we did as a little family. The saddest thing to me is that I don't even know what all was lost because I can't remember what all was there because I'm so horrible at journaling. Anyway, I can't think too deeply about it or else I start crying.

But since this has all happened something amazing has happened. I have started remembering a lot more. And for those of you who know me, you know how amazing this is because I have a terrible memory. When we found out nothing could be recovered I cried hard and then the only solution I could think of from there was to pray hard. I prayed hard (and still do) that Heavenly Father could help me to remember some of the most important things that happened in those two years, so I can write those moments down and still have those memories, at least in written format.

It has been an amazing experience for me so far because I have remembered little things here and there and I have been able to write those memories down and I know it's because the Holy Ghost can bring to remembrance all things that the Lord sees fit. I know I won't be able to remember every little thing, but I have faith that, in time, I will have a good collection of the more important memories written down for safe keeping.

So, since then I have started a document titled, "What I Remember" where I record everything that comes to mind. It's kind of like I am recovering my photos after all, just memory by memory. And I have also started writing down random child hood memories that come to mind that can perhaps go towards my life history (the life history that's non-existent right now :-)

So if, from time to time, I post something under the title, "What I Remember" then you'll understand the randomness.